“I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing your praise.” Psalm 138:1
 
Last week, shortly after I posted my theme for 2016, I had a younger woman ask me, “How do you do that? How do fill your heart with gratitude?” It was not entirely incredulous, I think she was just asking for some practical advice on how to rid our lives of discontentment. I generally figure for every person who asks a question out loud, there are probably a few more silently wondering the same thing, so I decided I’d take a minute and explain a few things I find helpful in practicing gratitude.

1. Be aware of when discontentment is creeping in. Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” We have to watch out for our heart and guide it back. Case in point: I had planned to start back to school Monday after three wonderful weeks off for the holidays. But Life happened, and the school room that I’d intended to organize was still in shambles. So I decided to let go of my goal and spend another day cleaning. As I did, I found myself growing grumpier and grumpier. “We needed to start back to school,” I told myself. “There’s so much clutter. Why do we have so much stuff? How will I ever get on top of the clutter?” and so on and so forth. The more I looked around, the more unhappy I became. Thankfully, I recognized what was happening and took few minutes to think about what was going on, to try to find the gratitude.
2. Watch your mouth. Prov. 17:27 says that “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” That’s not an isolated idea, by the way. Both the Old and New Testament are full of instruction that basically boils down to: “Don’t talk so much.” Our culture will say that everything needs to be aired in order to get affirmation and to vent things. But the Bible says otherwise. Seeking wise, Godly counsel on a matter is encouraged by the Lord (Proverbs 15:22, 20:18, 24:6), but venting is not a scriptural concept and is in fact, greatly discouraged. Proverbs 10:19 says that “when words are many, transgression is not lacking.” In other words, the more we talk, the more likely we are to sin! Yikes! We need to check our motivations in talking about problems. I actually sent a Vox to a friend in the middle of the de-clutter. Towards the end, I realized I was getting precariously close to complaining, and that’s when I knew I needed to stop and re-think things. Giving a voice to our areas of discontentment can make us dwell on things we ought not, and can seem to legitimize problems that are not as big as they may seem. When in doubt, don’t talk. If it’s legitimate, you’ll probably still have the chance to say it later. If you must vent for ventings sake, I suggest you do it to yourself, or to God, who has always helped me to see things more clearly.
   
3. Find the gratitude (even if it takes work). “Be thankful” is often spouted off without a lot of thought behind it, and it can come of as trite. I can’t stand things that are trite, so when I get this way I need to really consider what part of the situation I am thankful for.  Int this case, it wasn’t going to be as simple as “Welp, first world problems! At least you have enough! Be grateful you don’t live in Haiti!” That’s all well and good and even true. But the reality is, too much useless stuff is a burden and an energy suck. What finally clicked for me is that what I have to be grateful for is actually three-fold. I have the good sense to realize that it needs to go, the healthy emotional state that allows me to say goodbye to physical things that serve little purpose, and the time to devote to getting rid of it. Those are true gifts that not everyone has. THAT’S what I needed to be grateful for, but it took some work to realize it.
4. Give thanks to the one who gave you what you are thankful for. Here’s how to make the gratitude you’ve found stick: Express it to the Creator. Stop, get down on your knees and pray! Give him specific thanks for the aspect you’ve found to be grateful for. Thank him for quelling your discontentment, and pray that he’ll protect you from it in the future. That’s the kind of talking that will help you displace discontentment with gratitude.

 
I hope this is helpful… It’s a small example, but small discontentments grow if we don’t displace them. Let me know if you have had similar experiences, have additional advice, or if you need help finding the gratitude in a situation.

In Him,
Lindsay
 

October is the craziest month of our year, as we come off birthday season in our house (3 of the four of us have birthdays within 13 days of each other) and head into a quieter time before Thanksgiving. This year especially, I was looking forward to it.



But the last three weeks have proven to be anything but quiet. We made a rapid-fire (but not rash) decision to try and sell our house and move into something else. I won't go into the trigger incident for the move. I will say the goal is to be in a house that has better space for our guests and that is closer to church.



That means that it fell (mostly) on me to declutter and clean the house and make it ready for house-shoppers to come through and peruse what our little home has to offer them. I have boxed and cleaned, cleaned and boxed, and moved furniture out and in to make the house look...different. About half of our belongings are now either in the trash, at a thrift store, on Craiglist (printer/scanner anyone?) or in a storage space that we rented, and the house is starting to come together as a sell-able product.



That makes it sound like it's been easy, right? And yet, it has been an extremely humbling experience. I have, for a long time, clung to the idea that since I have a small house, I must be a minimalist, free from the constraints of materialism and the longing of having All The Things.



But I've come to realize that I was not practicing what I thought I was practicing. In many ways, we continued to accumulate things when we should not have. When The Stuff got to be more than we could handle, sure, I'd haul some of it to Goodwill, but there have also been a lot of trips to Ikea to buy Stylish Swedish Vertical Storage to fit The Stuff into the small space.



I wish I could say that in the process of the packing that I decluttered more than I did, but in truth some of those things won't be clutter if we have the space to house them in the new place--though I intend to do another round of decluttering once we move, if the Lord is willing that we do so.



In the meantime, and especially with the Season of Marketing and Advertising upon us, I have been giving a lot of thought to The Stuff. And how to truly be free of any unproductive attachment to it. Here's what I plan to do to stay on the right path as we move forward--whether the Lord blesses us with more space or not.



1. Take care of what I do have. This has been a truly convicting point for me, and perhaps the most humbling part of the whole experience. I have found several things that I have really enjoyed, and perhaps have even used a lot, that are no longer as desirable to me simply because I didn't care for them as well as I should have. I have been instructed to be a good steward of what I have (1 Pet. 4:10). Realizing the many ways I have failed in that has been disturbing to me, and I am newly resolved to discontinue that trend! The good news: since I am determined to have less stuff, that will be less stuff to clean and maintain. More care to lavish on what I really do enjoy.

2. Use what I have. My wedding shoes--the ones I lovingly had color-matched to my dress and that were a real splurge for my parents, are in the trash as of this week. They did not hold up well, tucked away in their box in the top of the hall closet. I found them discolored and unsightly, and realized that even if they still looked nice, the style is far too youthful for me now. Wouldn't it have been nice to wear them a time or two in the years just following the wedding? They got ruined anyway, at least I could've used them. I have been far too guilty of not using my 'nice things.' Well, what's the point of having them if you're not going to use them? How will I tell the children stories of the china my grandmother gave me if they never see it? At some point, I'm not going to have it anyway--it will either get lost or broken or stolen or I'll die. So... why not use it and enjoy it? I remember reading Alice Walker's short story Everyday Use years ago, and being touched by it--but not always putting it into practice, that using important things is important and good.



3. Use my things to serve. This is the most productive way to do #2. If you look at 1 Pet. 4, there is a clear link between stewardship and serving. We aren't given things (physical or spiritual) to just sit around and stare at them--or even worse--to put them in the closet! It can look different depending on your interests, who you know, and what people need. Maybe it's using your dishes to have people over. Maybe it's using a casserole pan to make a meal for someone. Maybe it's letting someone borrow your outdoor gear because they want to try out camping without committing to buying a slew of stuff just yet. My things, while now clutter to me, can be a blessing to someone else. When I have clothes that are no longer my style or are too youthful for me, there may be someone else out there who will love it. My random small appliances may have been on someone else's "want" list for a while. Getting a freebie from someone else is such a nice surprise, and giving one to someone means both of us win. Just don't be offended if they don't take it--all you can do is offer!

4. One thing in, one thing out. When you do find that you need to bring something into your home, this is a great rule to follow. I'll warn you though-- this one is hard! We "need" the new thing, but have a tough time letting go of the old. But it is a good practice in just how much we need it, if we already have something we don't want to let go of. Going forward, I intend to decide just what I will let go of BEFORE I buy the new thing.

5. If it hasn't been used in a year, let it go. Oof, this one is hard for me. I always want to fudge and make it two--or even three--years, but the one year rule is solid. If it's important to you, you'll use it. If it's not, it's clutter.



Alright, I'm off now to clean the newly-discovered surfaces in the house in preparation for family and Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for--including my newly humbled spirit. Here's to being a better steward of all the many, many blessings I have been given.

The time when I’m making dinner can be a vulnerable time for me, thought-wise. It’s often the first time after the events of the day where I am somewhat alone—the kids usually play and it’s just me and my thoughts while I cook. Often the activities of the day have left me somewhat tired and instead of having time to process the day I’m doing more work. Now, I love to cook, but this just seems to be a time where I’m able to be in my head, and that’s not always good.

Last night I got to thinking about Mary and how much I will miss her. And there was that jolt of “I can’t believe she’s gone,” which is so often followed by what seems like an almost electrical jolt of sadness to my system. It is the kind of thing that can sometimes be a diving board straight into despair.

But last night, just as I had that thought, it was hijacked by this most wonderful realization: “I am so thankful I got to know her.” Now, Mary knew a lot of people. A LOT. And because she loved people in general and because she wanted to serve God and them, I’d say she knew well many more people than most folks do. But in the grand scheme of the world, there are so many more people who didn’t get to know her. BUT I DID. And I am just so thankful that God allowed me some time with her. And it gave me a totally different perspective on what to think about during the many times she will be crossing my mind. “I miss her, but thank you, Lord, for letting me know her even just a little bit. I won’t waste that gift.”

I like to think I’m a pretty grateful person, but this was revelatory for me. For the rest of the night, I decided to consciously practice gratitude, just to see what other thoughts I could turn on their head.

I was making Breakfast-for-Dinner (yeah!), which involves my grandmother’s recipe for biscuits from scratch. I am pretty committed to cooking real food, but I gotta tell ya, cooking without convenience foods can be pretty…inconvenient. And while Breakfast-for-Dinner is pretty much the best thing in the world, I found myself looking at the bowl of flour and thinking of cleaning up bacon grease and cutting up watermelon.  I felt a sigh coming on.

And then…”I’m so thankful I get to do this.” I’m so thankful I have the means to do this. That I have a husband who supports us willingly so I can have the time to do it. That he even has a job. That we have two little girls who clamor for the biscuit dough and help set the table. And on and on till the biscuits were in the oven and we were ready to eat and truly offer thanks for dinner. Grateful.  I won’t waste that gift.

The other experiment came when I checked Facebook. One of the first things that came up was a picture of some people I know, having fun together. I hadn’t been invited. This is nothing new, and I don’t invite everyone I know to everything I do, nor do any of us have time to attend every gathering of every person we know every time they happen. And yet, I started to feel that feeling. Perhaps you know it? It’s the “Oh thanks Facebook for letting me know that other people are having fun together while I’m just here hanging out in my frumpy clothes with my phone” feeling. I hate discontentedness, and yet I could feel it coming on.

And then… I hijacked the thought.  “I’m so thankful they got to be together.” And I meant it, too. Perhaps it was just what they needed at that time. It was certainly a group that doesn’t get to be together often. I know how that feels and it is so good! I’m thankful that they were together, and that they got to get closer. Those are all good things and frankly, how self-centered of me to be even remotely jealous. I have good times, too—a lot of them. There are times where the reality is, I am thankful not to be asked to do more things because I tend to over-commit and then get stressed out. I’m truly thankful for all of it. And I won’t waste that gift.

I intend to practice intentional gratitude again today. But going beyond gratitude, I intend to hijack as many negative thoughts as I can. We are in a war against Satan, who wants to steal our joy at every turn. This is a weapon against discontentedness and so many other joy-stealers that we are free to use, and it’s a powerful one.  Strongholds: I am coming for you today.

3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5