Cultivate Gratitude: A How-To Guide

“I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart; before the gods I sing your praise.” Psalm 138:1
 
Last week, shortly after I posted my theme for 2016, I had a younger woman ask me, “How do you do that? How do fill your heart with gratitude?” It was not entirely incredulous, I think she was just asking for some practical advice on how to rid our lives of discontentment. I generally figure for every person who asks a question out loud, there are probably a few more silently wondering the same thing, so I decided I’d take a minute and explain a few things I find helpful in practicing gratitude.

1. Be aware of when discontentment is creeping in. Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” We have to watch out for our heart and guide it back. Case in point: I had planned to start back to school Monday after three wonderful weeks off for the holidays. But Life happened, and the school room that I’d intended to organize was still in shambles. So I decided to let go of my goal and spend another day cleaning. As I did, I found myself growing grumpier and grumpier. “We needed to start back to school,” I told myself. “There’s so much clutter. Why do we have so much stuff? How will I ever get on top of the clutter?” and so on and so forth. The more I looked around, the more unhappy I became. Thankfully, I recognized what was happening and took few minutes to think about what was going on, to try to find the gratitude.
2. Watch your mouth. Prov. 17:27 says that “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” That’s not an isolated idea, by the way. Both the Old and New Testament are full of instruction that basically boils down to: “Don’t talk so much.” Our culture will say that everything needs to be aired in order to get affirmation and to vent things. But the Bible says otherwise. Seeking wise, Godly counsel on a matter is encouraged by the Lord (Proverbs 15:22, 20:18, 24:6), but venting is not a scriptural concept and is in fact, greatly discouraged. Proverbs 10:19 says that “when words are many, transgression is not lacking.” In other words, the more we talk, the more likely we are to sin! Yikes! We need to check our motivations in talking about problems. I actually sent a Vox to a friend in the middle of the de-clutter. Towards the end, I realized I was getting precariously close to complaining, and that’s when I knew I needed to stop and re-think things. Giving a voice to our areas of discontentment can make us dwell on things we ought not, and can seem to legitimize problems that are not as big as they may seem. When in doubt, don’t talk. If it’s legitimate, you’ll probably still have the chance to say it later. If you must vent for ventings sake, I suggest you do it to yourself, or to God, who has always helped me to see things more clearly.
   
3. Find the gratitude (even if it takes work). “Be thankful” is often spouted off without a lot of thought behind it, and it can come of as trite. I can’t stand things that are trite, so when I get this way I need to really consider what part of the situation I am thankful for.  Int this case, it wasn’t going to be as simple as “Welp, first world problems! At least you have enough! Be grateful you don’t live in Haiti!” That’s all well and good and even true. But the reality is, too much useless stuff is a burden and an energy suck. What finally clicked for me is that what I have to be grateful for is actually three-fold. I have the good sense to realize that it needs to go, the healthy emotional state that allows me to say goodbye to physical things that serve little purpose, and the time to devote to getting rid of it. Those are true gifts that not everyone has. THAT’S what I needed to be grateful for, but it took some work to realize it.
4. Give thanks to the one who gave you what you are thankful for. Here’s how to make the gratitude you’ve found stick: Express it to the Creator. Stop, get down on your knees and pray! Give him specific thanks for the aspect you’ve found to be grateful for. Thank him for quelling your discontentment, and pray that he’ll protect you from it in the future. That’s the kind of talking that will help you displace discontentment with gratitude.

 
I hope this is helpful… It’s a small example, but small discontentments grow if we don’t displace them. Let me know if you have had similar experiences, have additional advice, or if you need help finding the gratitude in a situation.

In Him,
Lindsay